Some even say that they sat on the abortion table hoping the father of their baby would "rush through the door to rescue me and take me away somewhere safe." She needs your friendship now more than ever.

The world says that abortion is "a woman's choice" but the woman in a crisis pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone. She is looking to you for support because she can't confide in many people about this crisis situation. When women hear men say, "Don't look at me to tell you what to do," they automatically believe the man wants the abortion. Be careful that you don't say something that you could regret. Assure her that you will be there during and after the birth of your child. Inform her immediately that she doesn't need to have an abortion to please you. Tell her you want to help her in making any choices that will affect your future.

The first thing you need to do is find out that she is really pregnant and learn about your options. We provide confidential and free pregnancy tests along with many support services. Our center exists to help both of you come to an informed decision. To help her understand your support, come with her for the pregnancy test. She has more to lose in this pregnancy than you do because it will affect her physically. If she truly is pregnant then she is already being overwhelmed by hormone changes that affect her from making good decisions. Having your emotional and physical support will reassure her that you care.

You may not realize this, but abortion has many risks to the woman- emotional, psychological and physical. While you may not experience the abortion physically, abortion can affect you as well. If you care about this woman in your life, you will want to protect her from harm. You need to know what the physical risks of abortion are. See Abortion Risks

Our center can help you in a variety of ways should she actually be pregnant. Our support services include counseling, referrals, parenting classes, baby furniture, etc. These services are here for you as well. You won't be alone in supporting her in this pregnancy. We can help you share this truth with both families and explore all your options.

Another distressing fact about abortion it that once a couple goes through with an abortion, they don't remain together. Feelings of betrayal and hurt, compounded with the grief over the loss that results from abortion, can separate two hearts forever. If you care about this woman, encourage her not to abort.

At the abortion facility:

• What kind of abortion will she have? Will it be chemical or surgical? Ask about the risks. It's important that you both sit through any discussion about the abortion procedure. Most women will appreciate a man who wants to be with them through this difficult time.
• Who is the abortion provider and what are his credentials? Be sure to get all of his information. Don't let her sign any papers that might release him from any liability if he hurts her.
• Check to see if the facility is clean and sanitary. Many facilities are never inspected by governmental agencies. As a result, they can provide sub-standard care to their patients. If the facility doesn't appear spotless, find another one.
• If they offer ultrasounds, insist on being allowed to view the screen. Both of you have a right to view any medical tests that are being conducted.
• Should your girlfriend/wife have any doubts, take her home. There is no rush to make this decision. Any hesitation on her part could mean significant regrets in the future. Remind her that you will support her in the pregnancy and don't push her into something she doesn't want to do.
• Accompany her throughout the facility. Should the facility staff seek to isolate you from your girlfriend/wife be immediately suspicious and ask her to leave with you for the time being. She needs you now more than ever and she also needs someone to ensure that she isn't hurt in any way. Whatever the facility rules are, there is no reason you cannot hold her hand through this procedure.